Melt-down follow-up

Wow- thanks everyone for your comments on my most recent lament! After reading the post about abazillion times, I decided some things should be added.

First. I am not in the corner sucking my thumb all day as my post possibly made it appear. Simply put, I am functioning, just not in a good, positive attitude kind of way right now.

Second. The way I am feeling about my motherly duties right now in no way reflects how I feel about my children. I think, well I hope, that this is obvious, but I needed to clear the air (in case the little ones ever read this some day). Though I may be struggling, I still know that I am doing the right thing and that I don't regret the choices I've made to start and raise a family. Will I possibly take a different approach? Maybe. Will I continue to stay at home all day? Maybe not. Will I continue to keep having lots of children? Don't hold your breath. And even during this little "phase," and especially after I posted the rant, there have been plenty of moments in which I have been quietly reminded of why I am a mom (mostly when the kids are sleeping of course...). I can't say those moments have made the not-so-fun ones much better yet, but I'm working on it!

Third. I've really been contemplating why it is I posted such a thing. Was I fishing for compliments? Do I need some attention? Did I think I was the only one who's ever felt this way? I think I can answer no to all those questions. Honestly, I think the reason I vented for others to read was because I sorta wish everyone was a little more open about their struggles. I've always been a pretty open book which can be good or bad. I'm the first to tell you that I've broken several things in my house out of anger, or that I've been to counseling (and it was awesome!), or that I'm desperately trying to get my 5-month-old to sit in front of the TV and be entertained by Baby Einstein videos, or that I'll readily cry at the grocery store if they are out of something I need. I know, I'm a freak show. And though it makes me sad to hear that others struggle as well, there is some comfort in knowing there are lots of others who have gone or are going through the same thing.

Fourth. The pressures I listed are pressures I feel, not necessarily all the things I'm trying to do. Like scrapbooking. I gave up on that a long time ago (which is why I blog). But I have to admit, that I still can't help thinking that I might regret not scrapbooking. And these pressures are not necessarily brought on by other people, mostly just myself. I don't feel the pressure to can because everyone else seems to, it's because I love having all of our garden produce stored and I can't stand the thought of waste.

So there you have it. Thanks again for all the advice and empathetic words- they brought me to tears. Good tears.