Merry Christmas!

A week 'til Christmas???

Wow.  It's December 18th. (I had to look at my computer calendar before I could type in that date because I seem to have lost all track of time lately.  I just know that Christmas is soon. Very soon).

Here are a few things we've been up to lately.

Polar Express with Grandpa, Lindsay and Wesley.  They had a blast and are already talking about going next year. Thanks Grandpa and Lindsay, you're the best!

apparently you need sun glasses at the North Pole

Letters to Santa

Colby's: Santa I please would like a scooter for Christmas. I've been good this year. I am a good big brother I a good sleeper. Thank you Colby.

Kara's: (With a little help from daddy to summarize since her list was soooo long). Santa I have been so good this year. I have shared with Colby and I have listened to mommy and daddy.  I went to church and beed quiet. I was nice to Ty. Be nice to Colby. I shared with mom and dad. I play good at nursery. Good at the store. My please have a barbie house, barbie car, ____ two cars, bed, pillow, kitchen counter, washer, where she stand to make dinner. Dress-ups. Kara. Thank you.

Lots and lots of playing in the snow

Christmas Lights at Temple Square with our good friends the Smith's.

Lots of exploring and getting caught under cabinet drawers

Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays!  Word to the wise: Just avoid Walmart, Layton Hills Mall and the intersection at Hillfield and Main and you'll be just fine!

Milestones

From sweet mohawk

to even sweeter comb-over

to.....

Ty's first haircut!!

We finally did it.  I LOVED his little bushel of hair on top of his head but we finally decided it was time to go.  I just can't get over how light his hair looks!

And...

gues who's on the move?

 

Goodbye to blessed immobileness and not having to vacuum or mop my floors.

Hello to baby gates, chocking hazards, and dirty little hands and knees.

After weeks of rocking back and forth on all-fours, he officially took his first crawl steps on November 19th.

love that kid

The Feast 2009

I forgot to take pictures of the lovely spread so I took one of a few people chowing down on pie

and one of my sister feeding Ty sweet potatoes

and of the kids drawing on grandma and grandpa's wall.  I mean, whiteboard

We had a great day and are so thankful for family 

For delicious Thanksgiving food

That Cameron gets to fly airplanes

For good health

For helpful people who know more than we do

For good TV shows (sorry- I couldn't help myself. I LOVE to have something to veg out for at the end of an exhausting day)

My sister who moved to California today.  Boo.  I mean yay for her!

For the restored gospel. 

Super!

Is it just me or did the word "super" make a comeback in the last decade or so?  Or maybe it's just that I've passed the age where you are forbidden to use it, say, age 14-27 with a few exceptions of course, like if you're an elementary school teacher, a clown, Barnie, or gay.  Though I've never been a big fan of the word, somehow it has snuck back into my vocabulary in the last few years and even takes me by surprise when it come floating from my mouth.

It wasn't until last week that I've decided to retire it completely from my vernacular (and have since decided that I can start using the word "vernacular") when I used it unsuccessfully while eating at a restaurant with some friends. The conversation went something like this.

Me: What is super popular here?
Server: Uh, we have all kinds like Chicken and wild rice...
Me: No, I mean, what is REALLY popular here?
Server. Well, most people really like the French Onion, but the Minestroni is good too.
Me.  Uh, thanks.  I'll just get the Red Robin burger please.

I'm pretty sure our server was in the 17-21 age range. Now if I can just get "oh rats" to catch on again.

More spooky fun

the kids loved putting together their scary candy house that grandma and grandpa gave them

rocker dude

the trick or treater crew

I swear the kids got more excited about giving out the candy then getting it, and they were pretty darn excited to get it. Once we got home from trick or treating, they were in charge of giving out the candy. It didn't take long before Colby had the candy categorized in individual bowls so that the trick or treaters could see more clearly what their choices were. Then he decided that it was more fun to throw the candy from about 5 feet away to see if he could get it into each person's bag. And when the trick or treating started to die down, Kara would open the door and yell, "We got candy!"

My babies

oh how i love them

The life of a 3 1/2 year old

It's time to document some things that Kara is up to. Because she is so dang irresistable in a, "you're driving me crazy but are so cute at the same time" kind of way.

She is one animated little girl. I need to have the video camera rolling all the time so that I catch the hilarious look on her face as she is telling us something super important.

She is really shy around most other people and will barely speak a word. But if, and when, she's comfortable, watch out. SHE WILL TALK YOUR EAR OFF. At our house, the only time she stops talking is to eat.

She still loves to eat and still especially treats. The other day she fell asleep in the car and when I woke her up to get out of her carseat, she started muttering with her eyes half open, "suckers? suckers?"

She follows me around all day saying, "hey mom." And then she'll repeat it over and over until I say, "What Kara?" It doesn't matter if I'm looking straight into her eyes with my best body language saying I'm ready to listen, she'll still repeat, "hey mom" until I say "what." Then she usually responds with some crazy comment about Omie.

Omie is Kara's imaginary friend. She has been around for awhile now (I think more than a year), but as time goes on, Omie makes more and more appearances and gets more and more creative. Eventually, Omie became two people. One is Pink Omie and one is Blue Omie. Kara just told me yesterday that Pink Omie had pink hair and Blue Opmie has blue hair. Huh. So that's where they got their nicknames... Last I heard, one lives in Park City and the other in Bear Lake.

Kara is very scared of monsters in her bedroom. She gets put to bed and freaks if I turn off her room light and lamp. It usually takes 5-10 minutes before she lays out her blanket and pillow on the floor in her doorway. Sometime in the middle of the night, she usually ends up in our bed. There are some nights she gets brave and tells me all the monsters have left her bed and that she'll sleep there that night but eventually she changes her mind and she's in her doorway again.

The other night I was on the computer pretty late, and I looked over to see her wide awake laying on her stomach with her hands propped under her chin, staring at me. When I said "Hi- what are you doing awake?" she said, "Mom. Did you know that Omie's favorite ride is the roller coaster?"

Everyday, this little girl cracks us up. If she isn't talking about Omie, she talking about Jesus. And her favorite song in the whole world right now is Alison Krauss' "Down to the River to Pray." She LOVES it and will listen to it over and over. It's so cute to hear her sing, "Down in the river to pray. Studying about that good ol' way."

She's also been in dance class and is loving it. The other day she told me that her teacher got out some music and it said, "you got to move it, move it." She's always dropping to the floor during random times of the day so show me a new move she learned at dance class. She may be shy, but that doesn't stop her from doing the splits right in front of hundreds of people at Lagoon.

She is a very happy and generally, an easy going little girl and has been since she was a baby. Though her fourth year has brought on more sassiness, some back talk, a little but of lying (with a grin on her face as the dead give-away), lots of mess making, and mischief, it's also brought on more independence, more declarations of love, her soft and cuddly side, hilarious outtakes and a fun, bright, adorable big girl with a great imagination and the sweetest little personality that you could just gnaw on. We love 'er!

Irrational Fears

I have two of them.



Sirens and wasps.



I am a grown woman. Why I have such fears, remains a mystery. Just when I thought I was on the road to recovery (as evidenced in this post), a minor incident puts me at square one.


Picture this. A very confident, fearless, dignified mother...wait a minute, that's not right. A... mother is walking on the sidewalk with her 3 adorable children on her way to afternoon Kindergarten. And out of freaking nowhere, a "honeybee" as Kara so naively puts it, flies into the little puff of bangs that are pinned back on the top of her head.


Honeybee. Calling it that makes it sound so innocent. Does this sucker look innocent to you?





Uh, I don't think so.


Anyway. This isn't the first time a bug or bee or something, has gently "bumped"' into my hair and continued on it's merry way, leaving me with the passing thought, "I sure am glad I didn't wear a lot of hairspray today." This particular time, I had the same thought which was quickly replaced with a sinking feeling that I did go a little out of control with the hairspray earlier that morning.




Very calmly, I asked Colby to look on top of my head to see if there was a bee there. While quickly nodding his head he said, "Oh no Mom. There is!" And that was it. A grown-up fit. A display of pure fanatical madness at it's best. I don't remember exactly what happened but I'm pretty sure it involved me whipping my head to and fro and a convulsing body. I do remember tripping over the stroller and landing on the hard pavement. I have skinned elbows to prove it.
Since I wasn't sure the wasp was gone, I popped up and began yelling at my five-year-old to get it out. By then I was half laughing, half completely beside myself and all I could do was repeat, "Colby! Get it out!" It was then that I realized I would never be able to count on my five-year-old to reach up and swat a wasp from my nest of a head. What a sad moment.



As quickly as I could, I swiped my own hand across the top of my head several times and then through the rest of my hair in case it had burrowed it's evil little body farther in. It seemed to have disappeared but I was not yet satisfied. I saw, nor heard, any evidence of it flying away. Without a mirror or any trust at all in my small children (I mean, come on. Who wouldn't swat a wasp off of their poor mother's head?), I made a snap decision. I would ask the ten-year-old girl who I scarcely knew, who was behind us a small distance, if my head was indeed empty of any "honeybees." It wasn't until I saw the look on her face as she answered, "no," that I lost any dignity that I may have had left.



When I was absolutely certain the honeybee had decided to make it's nest elsewhere, I kept looking around to see if anybody else was around to witness the hilariously ridiculous incident, and then I giggled the rest of the way to the school. Kind of like when you trip while you're all alone. And you look even sillier when you're giggling to yourself. And when I got home, I checked in the mirror. Just in case.


Before you judge me, wouldn't you have done the same if say, a spider had decided to make his home in your hair? Yes. Yes you would.


I am 31. And I am scared of wasps. And if it was late at night, Cameron was gone, and a wasp decided to make an appearance in my bedroom just as an ambulance's siren began to quietly fill the air- I'm pretty sure I'd cry like a baby.

I'd do anything

Do you ever find yourself saying, "I'd do anything for...." and then having absolutely no intention of making any effort whatsoever in actually doing something to achieve it? For example. "I'd do anything for a Wendy's Tagalong Blizzard right now. Except that I don't want to get my butt in the car and drive there." Or, "I'd do anything to have straight teeth. Except get braces." Or, "I'd do anything for my dog to stop crapping in the living room except spend the money and time taking him to dog training classes."

I think a more accurate way of saying it would be, "Wouldn't that be sweet if someone did all the work, paid for, and/or went through the pain, for me, for something I really want because I'm lazy, cheap, and/or a wuss?"

Milestones

Ty has reached some very important milestones. First. He graduated from the straight jacket, I mean, swaddle blanket. Yes, I retired it before his 6-month mark which is in a few weeks. I'm not sure if this is the longest I've swaddled a baby yet or not but I sure got a lot of crap for it from guilty bystanders. Let the record show I did not give into peer pressure by removing the swaddle blanket like a lost sheep blindly following would-be persuasive leaders. I removed it when I felt he was good and ready. He is sleeping about 12 hours a night (yay!), always on his stomach with his little bum in the air. I love his little bum in the air. It makes me smile every time I see it.

We also tried some solids yesterday with a some success. I've tried some rice cereal a few times before, in hopes he 'd keep it down better than milk, but he hated it. Yesterday, I mixed some banana with oatmeal and he decided baby cereal isn't so bad.

He's also becoming a pro at sitting up and he absolutely LOVES to grab anything and everything around him and then ravenously shove it into his mouth as if he hasn't eaten in days.

Now on to what I consider to be the most exciting. To be completely frank, these last 5 1/2 months have been rough. Tough. Brutal. Oh wait, maybe I already mentioned that in a previous post. Are you sick of hearing about it yet? While he hasn't been the hardest baby on the planet, he has been extremely hard for me, especially for kid #3. Since he was born, if he was awake and not eating, he was unhappy. And then as he got older, he decided to only take a nap every 3-4 days. Literally, he'd go 4 days sometimes without shutting his eyes all day. Unless he was being walked around, there was a whole lot of crying going on. He was also spitting up buckets and buckets, blowing out of diapers at least 2 times a day, had constant diaper rash, and hasn't been gaining much weight. Oh, and did I mention he WILL NOT take a pacifier? Hours of holding one in his mouth and 5 different types of pacifiers later, has confirmed that he is officially not a binky baby. We tried several medicines which reduced his spit-up a bit, but didn't help his fussiness. As a last resort, I decided to temporarily stop nursing to see if my milk was poisoning him. Well, after about 5 days, I am happy to report that he is doing a lot better. He has taken a nap everyday since I switched, he is spitting up less, he is less fussy, he rarely blows out of his diapers and his diaper rash is much better. I'm not ready to say Hallelujah quite yet, but I am so happy to see some improvement! But...What the heck? Isn't it ironic that the milk, or "liquid gold" as I've heard it referred to, that is supposed to be the best for him, was actually causing all of this crap? So frustrating. Anyway, we're hoping for some smoother months in the future and to start more fully enjoying our sweet little guy!

Dance

After 3 or 4 months of asking for dance classes I finally got my act together and Kara got her wish. Since she tends to be timid in new situations, I wasn't sure how she'd do. I stuck around for a few minutes the left and by the time I returned, she was participating and having a good time. And when asked how it was, she excitedly replied, "Dance class was so fun! I can't wait to tell daddy about my dance class!" And on the way home she asked if she could go to dance class tomorrow.

Melt-down follow-up

Wow- thanks everyone for your comments on my most recent lament! After reading the post about abazillion times, I decided some things should be added.

First. I am not in the corner sucking my thumb all day as my post possibly made it appear. Simply put, I am functioning, just not in a good, positive attitude kind of way right now.

Second. The way I am feeling about my motherly duties right now in no way reflects how I feel about my children. I think, well I hope, that this is obvious, but I needed to clear the air (in case the little ones ever read this some day). Though I may be struggling, I still know that I am doing the right thing and that I don't regret the choices I've made to start and raise a family. Will I possibly take a different approach? Maybe. Will I continue to stay at home all day? Maybe not. Will I continue to keep having lots of children? Don't hold your breath. And even during this little "phase," and especially after I posted the rant, there have been plenty of moments in which I have been quietly reminded of why I am a mom (mostly when the kids are sleeping of course...). I can't say those moments have made the not-so-fun ones much better yet, but I'm working on it!

Third. I've really been contemplating why it is I posted such a thing. Was I fishing for compliments? Do I need some attention? Did I think I was the only one who's ever felt this way? I think I can answer no to all those questions. Honestly, I think the reason I vented for others to read was because I sorta wish everyone was a little more open about their struggles. I've always been a pretty open book which can be good or bad. I'm the first to tell you that I've broken several things in my house out of anger, or that I've been to counseling (and it was awesome!), or that I'm desperately trying to get my 5-month-old to sit in front of the TV and be entertained by Baby Einstein videos, or that I'll readily cry at the grocery store if they are out of something I need. I know, I'm a freak show. And though it makes me sad to hear that others struggle as well, there is some comfort in knowing there are lots of others who have gone or are going through the same thing.

Fourth. The pressures I listed are pressures I feel, not necessarily all the things I'm trying to do. Like scrapbooking. I gave up on that a long time ago (which is why I blog). But I have to admit, that I still can't help thinking that I might regret not scrapbooking. And these pressures are not necessarily brought on by other people, mostly just myself. I don't feel the pressure to can because everyone else seems to, it's because I love having all of our garden produce stored and I can't stand the thought of waste.

So there you have it. Thanks again for all the advice and empathetic words- they brought me to tears. Good tears.

In need of some serious lighter fluid and a match

I am burned-out big time.

Usually I try to keep this blog pretty light and airy with the occasional, "I'm going crazy" posts. Well, here's another one. And let me tell you, it's a downer. Before you read on, I better insert the good ol' disclaimer. If you don't have kids and are looking for a good dose of birth control, read on! If you have 2 kids and are either pregnant or considering a third, just go ahead and skip this post. If you have more than 3 kids, go ahead and laugh it up as you are reminded about how easy 3 kids was and how much harder it gets.

Being a mother of 3 kids is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. And I've done some hard things. Okay, not really. But dang, it's hard. At first I was thinking it was pretty easy. Well, not easy, just easier than I thought. And then all-of-a-sudden Ty is 5 months and I am drowning. I can't keep up. I have no patience. I'm losing it on a regular basis. Panic attacks are frequent. EVERY SINGLE DAY is a struggle.

I am not loving motherhood right now. Is that okay? Because it doesn't feel okay. Somewhere along the way I've been led to believe that I should love being a mother. Not all the time, but in general. Well, generally, I'm not loving it. I recently ran into someone from the the neighborhood I grew up in, during a rare moment without my kids. We were doing the usual small-talk exchange in which I was telling her what I was up to which included little more than being a mother. Because that's how it is when you're a mother, right? Right? Anyway, she asked me if I was loving being a stay-at-home mom and without hesitation I said, "Sometimes." I've always been too honest for my own good. Her surprised response quickly reminded me of that and I found myself back-pedaling until I awkwardly attempted a really fake smile and lied right through my teeth, saying, "Um, ya. I LOVE being a stay-at-home mom!" I guess "sometimes" is not the normal response, huh? But seriously, I could not say, "Oh yah, it's dreamy! Lovin' every minute! I just can't wait to go home to constant bickering, constant whining, a screaming baby, a screaming 5 year-old, kids that won't mind until I yell it for the neighbors to hear, nursing a baby FOREVER while 2 naughty kids get into trouble, cleaning multiple blow-outs per day, cleaning one room (one-handed) while the other one gets torn apart, never-ending laundry, simultaneous tantrums, sticky floors, toys lining both sets of stairs, a funky smell in the house, lost shoes, spilled milk..." need I go on?

The worst part? Guilt. Stinkin' guilt. I feel SO guilty that I'm not "enjoying the moments," or that I'm seriously considering putting the kids in daycare so I can take a job when I don't have to, or wishing this time would end, or that I know darn well that it could be so much harder and I'm not recognizing how blessed I am, or that I know I'm going to look back on this time and regret not letting things go so I could enjoy what I had. The guilt!

How about all the pressures young moms have to "keep it all together." Let's name just a few. Some are absolutely necessary, some are not. Still pressures, nonetheless.


gardening
canning
recycling
food storage
coupon shopping
budgeting
socializing
cleaning
putting your kids in extra activities
visiting teaching
other church callings
other spiritual things
wiping noses (code for, 'not letting my kids be seen in public the way they exist at home')
grooming yourself for fear Stacy and Clinton are secretly filming you (if only I was so lucky)
volunteering at school
service
yard work
blogging
scrapbooking
exercising

Something's gotta give. It's humanly impossible to keep all of this up. What's the first to go? For me, it's my grooming. (I sound like a dog. Well, I feel like a cow, so close enough). If I've got a lot going on or if I'm running late, you can bet that I won't shave my legs (If I'm lucky enough to get a shower), let my hair air dry, skip the makeup, and throw on a stained T-shirt. I'm sick of looking like crap.

And I wanna cry when I think that I'm only 5 1/2 measly years into this. I gotta long way to go.

Now that I've brought you down when you thought you were having a good day, I need some good news.

Do I accept that fact that motherhood is not my favorite thing in the world right now or do I fake it 'til I make it? And anyone who knows me knows that faking it is not something I do well.

P.S. Absolutely no comments that reflect anything close to the thought (or reality) that it only gets harder. Don't need to hear that right now.

P.S.S. After reading this several times to spell check, wow. This is really depressing. I'm way more depressed now than when I sat down to write it. Let's just hope this is a short-lived phase.

Last year I posted a picture of a peach crepe that appeared, well, less than appetizing. Then I proceeded to describe it's deliciousness in great detail. Well, this morning was my lucky day and we got to partake in this heavenly food once again. This time, I attempted to take a better picture, hopefully depicting more accurately, what this divine dish has to offer. In other words, I tried to redeem myself.

P.S. Even though it looks like cottage cheese atop the peaches, it is whipped cream. I just whipped it too long. Again, not the most appetizing picture either, but I think it's an improvement.

First Day of School 2009

My firstborn is off to school. Stay tuned for how I really feel about that when he really goes next Monday...

I must confess that I completely ripped off the "hold the paper that says what grade you're in" idea from my very clever and creative (yes, you are creative Rachel) friend, with her permission of course.

P.S. check out my new polls and tell me what you think!

It is time.

I am happy.

Anybody need a battery?

This afternoon, I fell asleep feeding Ty. When I woke up, the house was quiet. Scary, I know (pleas don't turn me in, I don't think I was really out for long). I went outside to find this...

A sale! Let's take a closer look at what's for sale...

a salt shaker, 4 batteries, snakes, matches, chapstick, a rubber band, a bracelet, 8 bricks, and a dirty rag. I'm giggling as I write this. Seriously, that rag is the most disgusting, dirty thing you've ever seen. And here is the sign...

When I asked Colby to tell me everything he had for sale, he skipped over the bowl of tomatoes. I said, "oh, you have tomatoes from the garden for sale. That's a great idea!" and Colby said, "no, those aren't for sale, those are for a snack for us."

When he showed me the chapstick, I found myself saying, "Colby, you can't really sell things that somebody has already used." But before I could even finish that sentence, I thought...who am I to talk? I try to sell all my used crap on KSL all the time. Who am I to judge whether someone will or won't want some used chapstick? So I told him to go for it.

In case you may be interested in any of those items, the large batteries range from $1-4, and the small triple A is $20 (I think it's vintage). The snakes and the matches go together and are $5, the bricks are $5 and the rubber band is $2. Bargains, people. Don't miss out on this!

Sunflowers

This year, Cameron planted 8 foot Sunflowers next to the fence in our garden in a space that is too hot to grow any vegetables. They are gigantic and so pretty. I love them!