I need help from all of you more experienced, seasoned parents. Please!!
Beware- now is the time for some big-time whining and complaining and feeling very sorry for myself. I try to keep this blog somewhat positive and leave my complaining for, uh, Cameron. But I have a lot of pent-up complaining to do since we kept this pregnancy a secret during the worst time of it. Anyway, tomorrow, I will be going on my fourth Sunday in a row without Cameron. And people...I am not surviving. I just don't know if I have the courage to do sacrament meeting again by myself. Here are a few examples of incidents that have taken place in the chapel during sacrament meeting, some that have resulted in laughter, others in tears and most in smoke coming from my ears and the look of death glaring from my eyes.
1. Tug-of-war with the sacrament bread tray. Ending up very badly with a flying 4-year-old hand landing smack down in the middle of the tray with bread flying EVERYWHERE and me in a fit of laughter. Yah, what an appropriate time to laugh. Not only was it completely irreverent of me, but it reinforced my child to mess with the bread tray every Sunday. Not a shining moment for me and my family.
2. Hide-and-seek on, and under, the bench. Sadly, I actually let me children do this. Why, you ask? While it sounds like a totally irreverent practice during church, it was actually quite mild behavior for my children. After I got Kara to whisper "1-2-3...ready or not, here I come." which she previously yelled for everyone to hear, it was relatively harmless. Really. Compared to what they are capable of, this was mild. Of course, it got out of control about 5.2 seconds later when Kara couldn't remember to whisper and the hiding kept getting farther under the bench involving the family behind us. Alright, bad choice on my part. But seriously, the day my children actually sit in their seats and quietly read of color for more than 30 seconds, will be the day I am exalted.
3. Lifting a hymn book as high in the air as possible and throwing it down to the floor in a fit of anger. This is one example of many ways to cope with mom telling you you can't kick the bench in front of you.
4. The classic, "catch me if you can" game. Not in the halls of the church, but around the entire chapel.
5. Bursting out in uncontrollable tears during my 9th month of pregnancy, in the middle of church for all to witness after my 2-year-old wouldn't stop hitting me.
I'm sure most or all of you have experienced all of these and worse, and maybe you haven't. And maybe you have 6 kids during church that you have to juggle yourself and you somehow do it without wanting to poke your own eyes out, I don't know. All I know is, I cannot handle my 2 children. And please, don't remind me of the fact that in 5 short, ever so slim months, I will be attempting this with a new baby in my arms.
Before asking for suggestions, here is what I currently do. When my kids cross the line (which in my ward kinda takes a lot since there are about 2 million kids under the age of 7- remember, I let them play hid and seek), my routine is to take them outside, usually kicking and screaming and make them (well, usually it's just one who's been very naughty) sit on my lap till they can calm down and swear they will behave. At which point we try again. I usually sneak a bribe of some sort in there as well (maybe this is where I'm going wrong). I don't let them just run/walk the halls because I feel like that reinforces their bad behavior, even though I want to SOOOOO bad. Last Sunday, we spent 75% of sacrament in a room with a ballistic child on my lap. Obviously, this is not working because it has been my method since Colby started getting into trouble. And last week, my sweet friend tried to help me out by taking my 2 year old who, in turn, freaked out, quite audibly, because she refuses to go to anyone else these days. Oh so fun. I don't bring snacks because my kids end up fighting over them, spilling them and then freaking out when they are gone. I'm pretty sure snacks aren't the answer.
The bottom line is, I know I need to continue to take the kids to church every Sunday because it's important to show them that that's what we do on Sunday, even though we get nothing out of it. But really, most Sundays end up with me on the verge of tears, incredibly angry and feeling anything but spiritual. I'm HORRIBLE at acting like everything's okay and gracefully attempting to discipline my children. Instead, I seem to draw more attention to us, by handling it so poorly. I know, because I get comments all the time like, "Had a rough sacrament, huh?" or, "Bet you're glad you got to pass off your kids to their teachers!" Which, by the way, I can't tell you how awesome that is. I literally have given my child to his primary teacher with tears of happiness, thanking her profusely for giving me a break. I bet they're glad to know that their calling on Sunday is to give us mothers a break. Probably not entirely appropriate on my part, again.
So, after that lengthy explanation, I am desperate for suggestions. I've never been closer to ditching out on Sacrament as I am right now. I need some help. What has worked for you? Maybe I need to slim down my church bag? I really don't know what else to do, I feel like I've tried everything. If you have something that has proven effective, please share it with me, preferably before 8:45 tomorrow morning. Thank You!
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