Hello. How can I make your life miserable today?

Here is how I imagine an interview to go between a DMV applicant and the interviewer (this could
also apply to a Delta or United Gate agent applicant as well)-

Interviewer: Do you hate people?

Applicant: Yes ma'am, very much.

Interviewer: Do you have references to vouch for this?

Applicant: Yes ma'am. Several. My next door neighbor, my child's soccer coach, and my ex-clergyman to name a few.

Interviewer: Great. Were you mocked and ridiculed as a child?

Applicant: Constantly.

Interviewer: Have you hated every job you've ever had and are planning on hating this one?

Applicant: I hate jobs. And did I mention I hate people? But I do love to see people in pain. My favorite is to watch people want to gouge our their own eyes.

Interviewer: Perfect. What would you say is your biggest strength?

Applicant: I have very few strengths which is why I am applying for this government job but I'd have to say that I excel the most in putting myself above all others. I am also good at taking out my frustrations and rotten mood on anybody that may seek help from me.

Interviewer: Ahh. Interesting. That is a trait I seek for myself. One final question. Are you completely incapable of  feeling sympathy and/or empathy in the face of a troubling situation, even though you may, and mostly likely will, or perhaps already have, encountered the same situation yourself which should therefore make you the perfect candidate for empathy yet you still have the inability to relate therefore proving, indeed, that you are a very cold and insensitive human being?

Applicant: Yes, and yes.

Interviewer: You are just what we're looking for around here. Upon credibility of your references, I hope to welcome you to our team. In which case you'll start Monday. Be here no later than 11:00 am after which your lunch hour will be 11:30-2:30 and then you're off at 3:00. You'll have all weekends and holidays off as well as Fridays, just for good measure. And if you could call in sick or just not show up to work frequently so that we are understaffed, that would be appreciated.

Costa Rica Zipline Oct 2012

Pura Vida

Wow- 7 months since my last post. I think that's a record. Unfortunately (for me and my family journaling efforts) blogging just doesn't do it for me like it used to. However, we just returned from a trip that is most definitely blog worthy - and for not posting for seven months - that's saying something. I tend to be wordy and I have 7 months worth of ideas hanging in my mind so this post is sure to be long and picturey!

We were lucky enough to take a quick trip to Costa Rica - something I've wanted to do for a long time. We bought a Living Social getaway for a 3 night stay. Our planning involved making sure they had rooms open for the time we would try to get there and renting a car. We really had no idea where the place was that we were staying or what to do. We had our passports and off we went.

We flew into the San Jose airport, got our car and drove 2.5 hours to our hotel. The first thing I thought as we started our drive was that it looked a lot like the island of St. Lucia- a stop we made on an Eastern Caribbean cruise we took about 10 years ago. We did nothing on that island since all we could afford was a room on the ship but I remember thinking it was the most green, tropical, lush place I had ever seen, at least from the cruise ship deck.

We journeyed on tiny little roads with narrow lanes and one way bridges until we got to the dirt road that led to our hotel. After about a 10 minute bumpy ride, we finally reached our hotel. In the middle of a rain forest. Words cannot describe how amazingly beautiful this place was. Sorry all you Hawaii lovers, but it put Hawaii to shame. Our hotel was not a typical hotel. It was a bunch of private bungalows plopped into a rainforest, carefully placed as to not disturb it's natural beauty. Rivers, small waterfalls, and jungle were everywhere. Just outside our bungalow was a tree that attracted tropical birds which we saw in the first 15 minutes we were there. The rain forest was constantly audibly active. Birds, monkeys, insects, snakes, frogs - you name it - they were talking. The property had all kinds of farm animals too as well as vegetable gardens and fruit trees. The hotel restaurant made a lot of it's food from their very own animals and produce they raised right there on the property. And the staff was so warm and welcoming. They told us all the cool things to do and even offered to watch our kids if we wanted to do something "really adventurous."

I am the type of vacationer that likes to go and see and do everything. But, I could have had a good book and laid in the hammock in this place for days as long as someone fed me some guava every now and then. This place felt so authentically Costa Rica. Not that I can claim to know what authentic Costa Rica is, but it was as far from some commercially tourist area as I had ever known or been.

This was our bungalow

 



 

Look closely at the middle of this picture and you can see a really cool bird

 

 

We discussed what to do. We had many choices. River Rafting. And not wimpy little uneventful river rafting, but class III, IV and V river rafting. Horse back riding, natural hot springs, zip lining, repelling down a waterfall, limitless hikes, visit a volcano, boat ride down a river to see crocodiles, monkey and snakes. We decided on going to a little rain forest refuge place called Echo Danaus where there was guaranteed to be wild animals for the kids to see. We expected a zoo-like place where we'd see some animals that were being re-rehabilitated but that is not what we got. Instead, we got a narrow pathway winding inside another rainforest/jungle. Where there were tons and tons of animals. Not in enclosures.

We spent a lot of time in the butterfly garden.

 

We spotted a crocodile about 2 feet away from us. Notice how there is barely a fence between us. A fence who's purpose was solely to guide the walkway, not to keep anything out.

 

Look to the right of Colby's head to see the crocodile

Cameron spotted a sloth hanging upside down in the tree. It's hard to see in the picture, but it's there.

There were lots of tiny red poisonous dart frogs and huge green lizards. That place was blast and we loved every minute of it.

The next day we decided to do a zip line tour. There is not a whole lot to say about this except that it is by far the most amazing thing I have ever done in my life - child birth being a close second ;). It was 3 hours of zip lining through the jungle and over waterfalls. I was giggling like a little schoolgirl the entire time and couldn't believe I was actually doing it. It was surreal. I've never described anything to be surreal, but this was.

 

We had to do some hiking between zip lines (11 total). We had to cross this little bridge. They would only let a few of us at a time. There was a cable running across the whole thing and I held on for dear life thinking that I may very well need it. 

 

We came across this snake. One of the guides assured us it wasn't poisonous as he showed us his stubby finger that had to be amputated from a snake bite when he was repelling down a waterfall nearby.

The next day we decided to do some driving and we drove to the Arenal Volcano. It was gorgeous and quite a sight to behold. We drove around Lake Arenal. Costa Rica has EVERYTHING. Lake Arenal was crystal clear and I'm sure a perfectly contented temperature (we didn't actually go in it) and you could rent a speed boat and waterski on it. It was surrounded by lush tropical mystery and a huge smoking volcano. We didn't even make it to the coast which we hear has white sand beaches. Really, what else do you need?

Arenal Volcano

This weird animal was on the road during our drive. I have no idea what it is.



Here's a view of Lake Arenal 

 

And of course, no trip would be complete without some souvenirs. I fell in love with this mango wood vase (that's all wrapped in Plastic). Can you tell by my uninhibited excitement? 

"Cameron!" (imagine me saying this in a near perfect Spanish accent). "Es muy bonita. Me gusto mucho." "Solomente triente y cinco dolares!" If you know Spanish, pretend that was perfect grammar as well...

On the way back from our little road trip to Arenal, we stopped at natural hot springs. So cool.  I mean warm. It was this never-ending hot spring river with little pools that dumped into one another- completely not man-made.

It is now a family tradition to seek out the nearest Burger King while in a foreign country and partake of it's greasy American disgustingness instead of the local cuisine. I take no part in this tradition. Unfortunately, the children have joined Cameron in this despicable habit.

And this is the part of the trip where our dog-loving daughter catches fleas. I'm not kidding. I guess Costa Rica doesn't have animal control for dogs because stray dogs were EVERYWHERE. They must kill cats for sport because there was not one of those to be found. Being the genius that I am, I let Kara touch all the dogs she wanted, fleas never even crossing my mind. I know- I am an unfit parent- I know this now. After Kara's 52nd encounter with a dog, Cameron said, nonchalantly, and as if he had known this the whole time and didn't really mind, "I bet that dog has diseases and fleas." Since I apparently thought Costa Rica was perfect, therefore free of all known pests until then, I freaked out, made her back away from the dog and washed her hair and body 5 times that night.

Despite the fact that Kara got fleas and there is a possibility that we brought home a lovely pet parasite with us (we'll see how the tests results come out next week), we can't wait to go back. It was worth a parasite. Okay, I've never had one and if we do then I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune if the tests come back positive. My only regret is that I didn't bring my nice camera. I would have gone crazy. And I forgot to bring our battery charger for our little camera so most of our pics are taken from my phone.

St. Patty's Day Spuds

I don't care much for traditions mostly because it means I have to commit to something and I just don't like that. But because we've been cruising around Houston this weekend while Cameron's dad has been in town, we didn't have time to even think about acknowledging the day, let alone participate in St. Patrick's day celebration. But today, I did get around to making some green mashed potatoes for dinner. Nope- it's not food coloring. It's pureed peas, mashed into the potatoes. Read it in a magazine, I think. And they were delicious! Cameron might say that that's a stretch, but I thought they were great and knowing there was some veggie goodness in them made them go down even better. Cook some frozen peas, throw them in the blender with a little chicken broth and mash 'em up with your regular mashed potatoes.

making up for lost time

This post is long over due and I'm afraid things will change and I'll forget how much I'm bursting at the seams with joy. It's Ty. He is making up for some serious lost time and I can't get enough. I think if I had a glimmer of the kind of almost-three-year-old he'd be, his infancy wouldn't have been quite as tough.

I don't even know how to explain it, but I must get it on paper. I mean computer. He is such a good little talker. We have full conversations and he recites things that happened to him a long time ago and he's just so stinkin' smart. Yesterday he said, "dad. There's a 2 and a 3 on your shirt." Yup- Cam's shirt said 32. He knows a bunch of his letters and can write a "T."  He has this hilarious little giggle that is forced when he's trying to just be silly, when he's imitating his brother and sister as they are laughing at something he doesn't undersrtand or when he's just hyper. He idolizes his brother and sister and their friends and wants to do everything they are doing. He rides a little 3 wheeled scooter like it's nobody's business but I can't get him to peddle anything. We just took him out of his crib a few weeks ago and he's doing so grea. He even went potty in the toilet a few times but because I'm lazy, I haven't followed through on that one yet. Our favorite word of Ty's is goodatar which is guitar. He's been saying it like that forever and I hope he never changes it, it is so cute. Liekeen for lightning McQueen. This is lilly hot for this is really hot. He loves to use the words backwords and forwards but he says batworks for backwords.

Right now, he is just pure joy. I can reason with him and he responds really well to simple discipline. He is the handsomest little guy you've ever seen and he loves him mama. Whenever I go somewhere, he says, "I wanna go wif you." And I CANNOT turn him down. When he asks for something in a full, to-die-for sentence, he gets whatever he wants. He just does. He still loves to have his back scratched and begs me to do it every night when I lay him down to sleep. If I scratch his back on the outside of his shirt, he says, "No. My other back" which means under his shirt. And when I've been gone he still gets excited when I get home and announces to everyone in the house that I'm home. And then I melt. He comes across as grouchy to everyone else because he's shy and wants to hide behind me and if you get in his face and try to get him to talk he just might smack you but really, the days of grouchy are few and far between right now. He is pure joy, all day, everyday. He refuses to take a nap but falls asleep almost every day at about 5:30 in random places in the house. The kitchen floor. Behind the ottoman. At the bar.  He insists on opening the van door himself, climbing in, closing the door and buckling himself. He's usually buckled before Colby and Kara. He is very specific and has pretty good attention to detail. If I have flip flops on and I mention anything about shoes he says. No, those aren't your shoes, they're flipflops. And if he asks you for something, and he doesn't like your answer, he'll reply with, "noooo?" with this long, drawn out inflection at the end that makes us laugh everytime. He already thinks he knows everything. The other day we got in an argument about whether or not he has a weiner. He was certain he didn't. And when he asks where dad is and I tell him he's at the store, he says, "No. He's driving the airplane. He's not at the store."

One of his favorite things to do is sit with a pencil or pen and a piece of paper and pretend like he is spelling. He scribbles something then looks up and yells, "what else?" Our job is to tell him another letter that he then scribbles down and again asks, "what else?" repeating the process until he is satisfied that he has spelled many words.

The other day my friend asked me if I would be interested in putting him in joy school next fall. And I really don't think I'm going to. I don't want him away from me if he doesn't have to. I had Colby and Kara in play groups, preschool, and whatever by 3 with no quesitons asked. It's weird. Am I a different mother to this three-year-old? Maybe it's cause it's just me and him? I don't know. but it's the best and I wouldn't trade it for the world right now. Wow. It's nice to hear myself say that. In my 8 years of motherhood, I've often been singing a different tune. I will follow up with pictures soon and maybe even try to proof read this very random and disjointed post at another time because it's time for bed. Goodnight.

So it's the next day and I have revisited this post. I'm cracking up as I add the pictures- particularly the first one of Ty in the airplane seat. Do not let that innocent smile deceive you. Why? Because he is nothing, as described above, while in an airplane. Ty cooped up in an airplane = demonic toddler and very angry/confrontational mother and joy is the very last emotion I am feeling. I have stories that might involve a flight attendant asking me if we need to have the pilot not take off because I'm in an argument with a fellow passenger who had an aversion to my fit-throwing to toddler. Anyway. As long as he's in the comfort of his own home, I'm not on the phone or the computer, his siblings aren't home, he's had a good night's sleep, and he's not sick, then the above is accurate and therefore not a fabrication of the truth in any way.

We now have a guest room. So...

Come visit us!!

Move out of my way people

There are few things that can get me from zero to sixty in no time flat. Zero being...Everything is right in the world and made of marshmallows. Sixty being...Don't get near me or I might rip your face off, chew it up, spit it out, then drop kick it through the window. What? You don't feel rage such as this? Anyway, I like to call them the precursors to an IBM or Instand Bad Mood (a term coined by, I believe, the author of The Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life). Nothing to do with a bowel movement, although maybe that would lighten things up a little. Here are mine

1. Chewy Chicken. ESPECIALLY when I've spent a pretty penny on the organic stuff. My heart rate is starting to increase just thinking about it.
2. Hot water turning to cold during a shower. Maybe if I had some warning or something, I wouldn't want to melt down like a toddler who hasn't napped in a week.
3. Sticky floors. The feeling of the sole of my shoe lingering just a tad longer to the floor than it should, mixed with that crinkly scrunchy sound it makes, is just too much.
4. Losing something that I just saw. Really- scissors don't just get up and walk themselves. This one's gonna land me in the loony bin if it happens one more time.
5. Banging my shin on a sharp surface. Why is this so maddening? Is it because I have no one to blame but my clutsy self?
6. Showing up to church EARLY and there are no seats. Sure, they aren't full of people, but instead people's scriptures and bags. I'm just waiting for the day that a member of the bishopric will read a letter at the pulpit from the first presidency banning the very act of saving seats in church. Period.
7. Finding dirty dishes in the dishwasher after the cleaning cycle is complete. When this happens, I usually blame my husband or the dishwasher. Either way, this makes me crazy.

What puts you in an IBM?

I'm in love

Now, I don't usually come right out and boast about something but I just had to share with the world our latest time sucker and the reason I haven't parked in my garage for 2 months. I'm in love with it and couldn't be more excited with how it turned out. I've had my eye on this Pottery Barn knock-off bed for almost 2 years now. It's a plan from a girl name Anna White who makes furniture and gives tutorials that make it seem like anybody can do it. She's seriously a genius! We finally decided to take it on. And here is what our finished product looks like.


Du dududuuuuuuu

So Cameron built the whole thing so the credit shall go to him. I did the easy part- the finishing. Check out Anna White's website. She has plans for just about anything you'd need and/or want. I promise, you'll be inspired to get out your jigsaw and build yourself something awesome. And can I just say that Cameron's handy-man skills continue to boggle my mind? Had no idea he had it in him and I love it.

HAPPY 2012!

We had such a fun New Years this year thanks to fabulous Houston weather. It was 60s all the way until midnight! It was awesome. People went nuts with fireworks around here and we also set up the projector outside and watched Elf on the driveway with the neighbors. Without blankets. Did I mention it was 60's?



Thanks Channing for the photos!

Resolutions and a 2011 best-of coming up!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

To believe or not to believe

Here is what Santa found under the tree tonight as he conspicuously left presents for the kids.

In case you can't read it (and because blogger keeps wanting to flip it on it's side), I'll translate...

To Santa

From Colby 12/24/11

Dear Santa, Can I get a 3DS

To Santa

From Colby 12/24/11

Dear Santa, Can I get a DSI

To Santa

From Colby 12/24/11

Dear Santa, Can you get Kara a puffle

To Santa

From Colby 12/24/11

Dear Santa, Can you get me a laptop please

To Santa

From Colby 12/24/11

Dear Santa, Can Ty get a dinosaur movie

To Santa

From Colby 12/24/11

Dear Santa, Will is at his Grands home. Can you deliver this present to Will.



First of all. So sweet that he took the time to think about his brother and sister. And I love that he was hoping Santa could do him a favor and deliver his duct tape wallet to his friend that is spending Christmas at his grandparents.

Second of all. This just may be the year that Colby starts suspecting something's up. Why?

3DS: not check

DSI: not check

Laptop: not check

puffle: not check

dinosaur movie: not check

delivering gift to San Antonio Texas: not check

I think we can fake our way through delivering the wallet. It's currently in my purse and I will make a special delivery to Will's house and then let Will's mom handle the rest of this "fabrication" of the truth.

And, Kara just decided a few days ago that what she wants more than anything in the world from Santa is a puffle. What is a puffle? Anybody? And the last few days, Ty's been going around saying that for his birthday, he wants a dinosaur movie. His birthday. When my kid asks for something for a specific event, I'm not about to just give it to them early. What kind of mother would that make me? And for the 3DS and DSI and laptop- these are all pipe dreams that have surfaced after asking for legos and a remote control helicopter, both of which Santa did manage to pull through on. Of course we've had the conversation with the kids about how Santa's elves have to have time to make the toys, and that Santa doesn't have unlimited funds and resources and has to draw the line somewhere and that Santa is a conspiracy theory made up by the government to ruin our lives. But the kid wrote a post-it note and stuck it under the tree for heaven's sake. That trumps everything, right? What dude in a big red suit, or humble mother in her bathrobe and striped fuzzy socks with cookie crumbs in the corner of her mouth, is going to deny the poor child his desires? 

Every year I go back and forth on this Santa thing. It's sweet and fun to see the kids get excited about the impossible and a little ridiculous, heartbreaking, and a downright pain in my backside, all at the same time.

What's your take on Santa? 

Colby's First Piano Recital

I am one proud mama. Way to go Colby!!

The True Meaning

I think Colby is finally catching the spirit of Christmas, don'tya think?