My favorite Christmas Memory

It's funny how it’s hard to remember the gifts you got for Christmas, even though there were several times you were so excited and swore you’d never forget. I honestly can’t remember what I got last year.

When I think of Christmas memories, a few funny ones come to mind right away. There was the one Christmas where I gave my dad a little bear with a T-shirt that said, “Get well soon.” I remember everyone snickering when he opened it and I didn’t understand why (I’m sure I was way to old to not understand). It wasn’t until a few years later that I found that little bear in the bottom of a box in our front coat closet that I finally figured it out. Weird that the bear was at the bottom of a box…

And then the year I had the grand idea of making everyone in my family a Kleenex doll, using only Kleenex and rubber bands (how resourceful!) I created and completed a very unique doll for each of my siblings, even though we drew names and were required to only buy for one. I was very excited about this and couldn’t wait for all the attention that would come from my hard and thoughtful labor. (Hey, there were 6 kids; I had to fight for attention somehow!). Well, I stuck each of the handmade dolls under the tree, hiding them clear towards the trunk so no one would see them. Christmas morning came and nobody seemed to notice the dolls. I don’t remember if I tried to present them to everyone or if I took it personally that no one noticed the wadded up Kleenex under the tree. I know this memory sounds sad, but it makes me laugh every time I think about it.

Then there’s the time when dad (or was it mom? - I’m pretty sure it’s still up for debate) threw out every one of our Christmas presents with the trash. The funny thing is, I do not remember having a Christmas with nearly nothing, and so it obviously didn’t affect me too much.

Though these memories are fun to recall, there is one that surpasses them all. One year my parents presented us with an idea, well before the Christmas holiday. The idea was to give our entire Christmas away to a family who really needed it. I think we had given up portions of our Christmas in the past, but never our entire Christmas, to my knowledge. I know this is not completely unfamiliar to most people and that there are millions of small, yet life changing acts like this that are carried out each and every Christmas. But to me, an identity-seeking, awkward 14 year-old, it was. I remember my mom and dad sitting us all together in our family room in front of the fireplace. They presented the idea to us, I’m sure with the hopes that we’d all jump up in unison and exclaim, “Absolutely! What a brilliant idea!,” but realistically knowing it would be met with some resistance, especially by a self-absorbed teenager. And yes, resistance was given. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even attempt to keep this disapproval to myself. The reason for my disapproval is not something I’m proud to acknowledge. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to help out a family who was less fortunate than mine, or that I only wanted to receive instead of give. The reason I wasn’t thrilled about this idea was simply because I was afraid of what my friends would think. And I had good friends! Can you believe it? At this time I lived in Farmington where most people lived quite comfortably and Christmas gifts were plenty. Each Christmas, my wise parents opted not to spoil us. Our gifts were generally modest even though there were times when my parents could have chosen to be more extravagant. Being a teenager who was desperate to fit in, I was afraid of having to tell my friends that I wouldn’t be getting anything for Christmas. Everyone knows that kids and teenagers, immediately following Christmas day, always ask the question, “What did you get?” and then compare. This was a difficult thing for me since I felt like I wouldn’t be accepted if I didn’t get as much for Christmas as my friends did. This couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Even so, that is how it was perceived to me. So this particular year would be especially difficult. …To think my friends would not respect or even admire my parent’s unselfish desire or my own willingness to participate! It’s amazing how twisted your perception of things are during your teenage years!

Each of my siblings participated in shopping for the needful children of the family we had chosen to help. I do not know if I did this with a giving or resentful attitude and whether or not my heart was softened as Christmas drew near. I do know that I wasn’t looking forward to Christmas day as I had in years past.

Traditionally, we had a beautiful Christmas Eve dinner to celebrate both Christmas and my brother’s birthday, and this year was no exception. But that night I couldn’t help but think, ‘what will we do all day on Christmas if we don’t open presents?’

Christmas morning we woke up (at probably a decent hour for once) and my dad brought us all downstairs. This is where my favorite Christmas memory takes place. Instead of beautiful, shiny presents under the tree, the usual crowded space was empty. Instead of taking turns ripping apart wrapping paper, bows and tape, my dad read us the Christmas story. Then, as a family, we discussed how we felt about giving our Christmas presents away. We talked about how different we felt that day as opposed to every other Christmas morning. The feeling of peace and overwhelming sense of gratitude was indescribable. Never had the Christmas story been so meaningful. It is easy to forget the presents you received, but I will never forget the feeling I had that Christmas morning as we reflected on our Savior, what He did for us, and how much we were blessed with. And instead of the usual busy day filled with excitement about new gifts, our Christmas day was filled with peace and thought about what is really important. This is a day I will forever cherish. I will always look to my mom and dad as such great examples of service and sacrifice and for teaching their children what is truly important in this life, even if it meant disappointingly watching a 14 year old struggle with something they knew would be of exceeding value in the future. I can’t wait to do this with my children and to pass on such a worthwhile tradition.

This memory of mine is of particular importance to me this Christmas season and has occupied my thoughts frequently since my family has decided once more to give our Christmas away, again suggested by my parents. This time, it was a much more popular idea and embraced by all with excitement and anticipation.

Thank you mom and dad for teaching me that Christmas isn’t about receiving gifts, even if I didn’t get it until I was all grown up.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!